More on long-distance care

Now that the holidays are over, I can finally take some time to share an expeience that happened right before Christmas.  We had planned for months to take our granddaughter to New York to see the Rockettes and the sights.  The non-refundable tickets for shows and train had been purchased. Before we left, I went to see my parents, made sure they were okay and that their medicines were all in order.

By the time we were on the train, I had received several phone calls from the aide that my mother was having some bleeding.  I told her to call 911 and go to the nearest hospital.  As frequently happens in Emergency Rooms, things took a long time and I kept getting updates from the aide as we traveled north.  The biggest complication came as the time for the aide to leave approached. She told me that ordinarily she could stay longer but she needed to leave on time to pick up her children.

My father refused to leave the hospital and we didn't know if my mother was going to be staying overnight.  I kept going to a corner of a car in the train to call the aide and the hospital for updates and to try to reach one of my cousins to arrange transportation for my father.

I reached my cousin's husband when we were passing through Philadelphia and he said it would be several hours before they could pick up my father because their children were in a Christmas pageant that night.  By the time we pulled into Penn Station, NYC, my cousin had contacted me to say she would pick up my father after the show and make sure that he got his dinner.

My challenge at this point was conveying to my 94 year old father that he would be picked up by my cousin and that he needed to stay in the waiting area by the ER.  My mother was kept overnight with a URI.

The next issue was talking to the hospital the next day about when she was going to be discharged. She was telling the staff that my father was on his way over to pick her up.  I had to tell them that she has dementia and that my 94 year old father is legally blind so would not be coming over to get her.   Somewhere between Radio City Music Hall and the Empire State Building, I was notified that she was ready for discharge.  Fortunately, the aide was on duty and was able to pick her up.

The weekend ended up working out and I don't think our granddaughter noticed any disruption of her trip.  She thoroughly enjoyed herself and didn't seem to notice that her grandmother was often disappearing to take/make phone calls.

I guess I'm going to have to contact my cousin if we plan to go away like that in the future so I know there is a local back-up for emergencies.  I really don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been available.  My father couldn't remember any of his friends from their old neighborshood and the limo at their residence doesn't run at night.  I certainly could not send him home by himself in a cab!